7 - Ode

I woke up thinking about Rita Joe's poems. A poem came into my head overnight. I've never written a poem in my life. No criticism please. I'm no Rita Joe. It is part of the process. I'm going with it. "No holds barred," as Rita says.

Ode To Rita Joe

Someone said to me,

"So you are an Indian now."

"What about your white ancestors?"

Why do people say these things?

I have been singing their songs for 40 years.

They are satisfied.

My native ancestors are restless.

The Indian in me will have her say.

I am listening.

Finally.

6 - Truth

"The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable." - James A. Garfield

As a teacher, I think about what exactly it is that I would like my students to learn. I have been thinking a lot about this as I have started writing. Only this time I am the student. There is one question that eats at me. Why did so many hide their identity? Why did they deny who they were? I don't blame them. I am sure that people do things they have to do for reasons we may never understand, but the question nags at me just the same.

This week, I ordered, and finally received a copy of Daniel Paul's excellent book called We Were Not the Savages. This book has a striking cover painted by Mi'kmaq artist Leonard Paul. I have been looking at this cover  for about 8 months now and I have to admit that I have been avoiding reading the book. The man on the cover seems to know this and stares knowingly back at me. He is a Mi'kmaq warrior wearing a business suit. In my heart, I already know what is inside. Documented atrocities against the Mi'kmaq.


The quote at the top of my post sums up how I feel about this book. It is necessary in my journey, but it's going to be hard. Daniel Paul has done a tremendous job with telling this history. The book is simply excellent. Well written and researched. At this point, I am not into the whole of the atrocities, but Paul is painting the Mi'kmaq to be a particularly kind and  trusting people with great respect for God, mother earth and their fellow man. The Europeans they encounter are a completely different species. This tears at me a bit, because I am a bit of both. I will continue my reading. I know that these chapters in history are directly related to the Bras d'Or Indians and I think I will find some of my answers here. I will keep you posted.

On a completely different note, I received in the mail today a book by Mi'kmaq poet Rita Joe. The book is called "Lnu and Indians We're Called." I have never read a poem by Rita Joe before today, but let me say that there is a reason she is celebrated. I read the whole book because I couldn't stop. I know I will come back to it many times and look for more of her work.

What I love, is that despite the hardships of her life, the poems are so optimistic and hopeful. This is the voice of a survivor. Many of these poems brought tears to my eyes. She is so clear. They are beautifully written and resonate with me. Perhaps more so because of my journey to discover this part of myself.  If only there weren't copyright laws, I'd be sharing one with you now! One that struck me particularly was called I Do Not Like Hearing The Wrong. It fits with what I am writing about today. Reading her work was a happy ending to a long day.

As chance would have it,  my copy of Rita Joe's book is a signed copy.  I take this to be a sign from above to keep going. The journey's good!

5 - Connection

Two days after I learned of my connection to the Mi'kmaq people, it was time for me to return to the United States. I found myself disconnected. I only knew of The Bras d'Or First Nation website and I had practically memorized it. I was starving for information, and I decided to reach out to native organizations here in the states to see what I could learn.

I managed to find an organization here in Massachusetts called The Massachusetts Center for Native American Awareness. They have a nice website: http://www.mcnaa.org Their complete mission statement is on the site, but basically, it was developed to implement programs that serve the cultural and spiritual needs of Native Americans. They also assist their community with food, heating costs and scholarships. In addition, they provide wonderful programs to the public about Native American Culture.

As luck would have it, they were having a Powwow and the head dancer was a man named Don Barnaby. He is Mi'kmaq.

A Powwow is primarily a social gathering for native people, but the name comes from the Algonquin word pauwau meaning medicine person or spiritual leader. The Powwow was at one time a sacred ceremony.  Today these gatherings are open to the public. This is one of the best ways to experience some of the traditional displays of music and dance in Native Culture.

The structure for a Powwow can vary slightly, but it usually begins with a grand entry into the arena by various people. This may include  people such as organizers, Master of Ceremonies, Tribal Chiefs, elders and dancers.  They will carry flags and an eagle staff. Once everyone is in the arena, the honor song is sung. This song honors the flag and veterans. After the honor song, a prayer is usually said and then dancing resumes.

There are rules at powwows that are specific to the area of the nation where you attend and it is worth checking into this before you go, or at the very least, when you arrive. A good rule to remember is to be respectful. Many of the dances and ceremonies that are performed have spiritual significance and are not just happening for entertainment. If you do attend a Powwow, be careful what you record by video or camera, because some of the dances are sacred and should not be recorded. It is always respectful to ask people before you take their picture. The Master of Ceremonies may also say when picture taking is appropriate.

Powwows are spectacular. People participating will wear their full "regalia" or traditional dress. The dancers are accompanied by drums and singers. There is also an opportunity to sample native food and many vendors are set up as part of the experience.

The MCNAA Powwow was a wonderful day for my family. I was excited to see Mr. Barnaby dance and it was a chance for me to show my children these wonderful cultures. This powwow was an inter tribal powwow and in addition to dancers from many Northeast nations, it included performances by Aztec dancers from Mexico. They had spectacular headdresses. It is incredible how they manage to dance in them.

I did manage to find Mr. Barnaby and talk to him. He posed for a picture with me and was very kind. He took time to speak to my children and showed them his regalia which highly impressed my very shy seven year old. It was complete with turkey feathers and eagle talons. I learned that he was a native of Quebec and that he often danced in the maritime provinces, where I grew up. We knew some of the same areas. I told him about my grandmother being Mi'kmaq. He said to me as he left, "I hope your children dance!" I am working on them, but I bet their mother will dance before this journey is over.

I keep the picture that we took that day by the water on my desk at school. Partly to remind me of who I am and also because it often prompts my students to ask questions. Since I put it there, a few students have talked to me and identified themselves to me by nation.

To view a slideshow of the MCNAA Powwow go to: www.flickr.com/photos/60982688@N07/sets/72157626218874847/show/

4 - Nations

So, my family and I are Bras d'Or Indians. We descend from three lines that I know of so far. Those of Francois Lejeune, Gabriel Lejeune (Sr.) and Angus Benoit.

Here in the United States, where I am living now, I almost never hear the word Indian when people refer to Native Americans. I don't think there is anything wrong with the word, it's just easy to confuse them with the people from India,  and perhaps it doesn't give an accurate representation of the people themselves. It seems that the people of the Bras d'Or use this term because it is historical. Everyone who lives there knows the Bras d'Or Indians.

In the United States, we hear Native American as the politically correct term, but this is deceptive as well. Imagine if we suddenly decided to call every one who lives in Europe, Native Europeans. We could just talk about them as a whole people with no respect to traditions, customs, or religious beliefs. There is no difference between Spain and Finland anyway, right? This is exactly what we do to native people when we use the term Native American, but this seems to be the popular term regardless of this fact.

I like what Canada does much better. They refer to the People of the First Nations.The Constitution of Canada goes so far as to differentiate its aboriginal people as being Indian, Metis and Inuit, although rights are still being determined for the Metis. I'm not saying its perfect, but at least in this name, it says that they were here first and that there is more than one nation. Aboriginal people in North America come from many nations with specific traditions, beliefs and histories. They are not all the same. My nation is the Mi'kmaq nation. I belong to a band within that nation known as the Bras d'Or Indian Village Band Association.

The Little Bras d'Or area has two bands. The Bras d'Or Indian Village Band Association is located in Little Bras d'Or itself and the other band, the Bras d'Or First Nation, is located in Sydney Mines. Both of these bands are seeking recognition by the federal government of Canada. The question is not whether the people here are Mi'kmaq. The question is if the government will see them as Indians.

I must admit that I am baffled by the policies of the government on this one. Take Newfoundland for example. Native people have been there long before the first accounts of European explorers. Didn't they drive away the Vikings? Only in the past few years was an agreement drafted to make an official landless band in the eyes of Canada. They have been a part of Canada since 1949, but are only being recognized as Indians now.

The formation of the agreement in principle in Newfoundland provides hope however. At one point in the history, some of the Bras d'Or Indians left Bras D'or and moved to Newfoundland. Now their descendants will gain official status. We are the same people.

 Here are some links to the Bras d'Or Indians. These sites are worth checking out.

http://www.brasdorfirstnation.com/
http://www.brasdorindians.com/
http://brasdorindianvillagebandassociation.yolasite.com/
http://searchingeagle.webs.com/apps/members/

3 - Surfacing

From the moment I heard it, I actually felt butterflies. Nervousness. Excitement that I can't explain. My mother said it first, and was so casual about it. After our day of communing with the Mi'kmaq nation and its history, she mentioned casually, in passing, that my uncle William had been communicating with our cousin Kevin in Ontario. "Kevin thinks we're Bras d'Or Indians, but I don't know if I believe it. It's probably not true." she said.

I knew by the feeling in my stomach that it probably was true. My brother was thinking the same thing. Sometimes you just know the truth when you hear it. We ran immediately to the computer and googled "Bras d'Or Indians." What is a Bras d'Or Indian?

We found them. Easily. They have a website. Now there are a few more websites as I write this. It's a testament to secrets that will not be contained any longer. I will get into the history of this community later as a topic in itself, but basically, they were and are Mi'kmaq people who lived in an area of Cape Breton, Nova Scotia on the Bras d'Or Lakes. The place is called Little Bras d'Or. Sometimes it was also referred to as the French Village. Nan, (my grandmother) grew up in Little Bras D'or and her surname was Young. There they were, the Youngs ( or Lejeune in the original French), at the top of the list of the Mi'kmaq families. We went further and read the entire site. We read about the Wigwams on Old Gannon Road in some of the accounts by local people. Nan grew up on the Old Gannon Road. We definitely needed to talk to Kevin.

As I started to write this blog, I wrote to Kevin and asked him how he discovered the connection. This is what he said:

"A good friend of mine heard about a meeting that was held for the Bras d'Or First Nation and she told me that the Youngs were at the top of the list tracing their roots from Pierre Lejeune. I later talked to my sister in law and she told me that she and her children were members of the Bras D'or First Nation, which I knew nothing of at the time. I applied for membership and was accepted. I then decided to make sure that we had proof of our connection, so I started gathering documents. The more documents I found, the more I knew it was true. I decided to start a family tree to share what I had found with the rest of my family. People always made comments about us being Indian, but we always took it as a joke not realizing that we really were native. The more information that I dug up, the more excited I got, not to mention the hurt of not knowing all those years. I lost 57 years of my wonderful heritage. This was the biggest reason for the family tree. To let my children and grandchildren know they are of the Mi'kmaq bloodline."
      
I would not be writing this blog if Kevin had not done all this work. It is really incredible. He has opened the door to this history for many of us in our family, and it is a very large family. I believe there are over 800 people listed in the tree, at least when I checked last. Many of us are beginning to connect with each other. You can view it if you would like to see it. Some information is restricted to family members, but it is incredible the work that has gone into it. Here is the link:
http://www.kevinyoung.tribalpages.com

2 - Prelude

Each summer I visit my home town of New Glasgow in Nova Scotia. My entire family still lives in the area and I love this time each year. As I look back, the story starts here with my father. He grew up in a community called Pictou Landing. This community is home to a Mi'kmaq reservation. It is a small community, and like most areas in rural Nova Scotia, people that live in these places know each other very well.

 I have a lot of memories of this community from my own childhood. We spent most Sundays with family at "the landing" as we like to call it. My Dad took us to Lighthouse beach in the summer, which is on the reservation. It was a nice sandy beach where I was always sure to find sand dollars and it had a beautiful white lighthouse that has since, sadly, burned down. I can remember women from the reservation visiting my grandmother as a child and coming to my grandfather's funeral many years later. Once, as a child, I remember my grandmother speaking of a lady named Mary Christmas who at one time lived there. I don't remember what she said about her, because I was only 5 or 6 years old, but in my mind, she had the coolest name ever. The memories I have and the stories that are told in my house about this place are always told with a smile.

One rainy day last summer, we decided to take a trip to Truro, Nova Scotia and my father thought it would be nice if we took my kids to see the beautiful Glooscap Heritage Center that is located just outside Truro. It is run by the Millbrook Reserve. You can't miss it on the highway because there is a very large statue of Glooscap, a Mi'kmaq God, outside.

This is a beautiful center and a great exhibit of the history and culture of the Mi'kmaq nation in Nova Scotia. We toured the facility, my children made some crafts, and we had a great time. The people were friendly and as we walked through the facility, my father was pointing out people he knew in some of the exhibits. There is an inside joke in my family about my Dad. Everywhere we go he knows someone. It never fails. This time the people he knew were staring back from the walls of the museum. I don't think the young tour guide showing us the facility actually believed him. It was a great day, and little did I know that later that evening, I would find out I had been touring my own history all the while.

For anyone who is interested, please check out the website for the heritage center.
www.glooscapheritagecentre.com/

1 - Identity Crisis

I grew up knowing that I am a Scottish Canadian. I did all of the things that good Scottish descendants do. I took highland dancing lessons and learned all of the traditional Scottish songs, because I was told that this was my history. I was taught that tradition is important. It is. Nothing about this has changed for me. This experience is part of my story. What I didn't know, was that I didn't have the whole story.

Last summer, I discovered that my maternal grandmother is Mi'kmaq. The Mi'kmaq are the indigenous people of the eastern part of Canada and northern Maine. I watched my grandmother reclaim her heritage at the age of 86. I know now that I am fortunate to have witnessed this. Many, with relatives in her community, did not have the opportunity to learn this history while their relatives were alive. Many hid their identity and took it to their graves.  I am learning this was not uncommon across the continent for people of her generation. Thankfully,  I know my own nation and have many answers about where my native ancestors originated. I do not have to say "I think we are part Mi'kmaq."

After the initial excitement of finding we were connected to such a rich and ancient culture,  what came next was sadness.  I am left with surprisingly intense feelings for traditions  and community I missed in not having this information earlier in my life. I am looking for answers and a connection to this part of my culture. I am a singer. My instinct has always been to sing the songs and hear the stories. I have been disconnected from this community by shame, ignorance and distance. I am the stranger in the nation.

I am now beginning to tell people about this wonderful part of my heritage.  I am often greeted with looks of surprise or even laughter. Maybe they think I'm pretending to be something other than what I am. I'm not pretending. I assume I don't have the traditional "look" of a Native American if that means anything. I have white skin and blue eyes.  It doesn't make this less of my heritage. I have met many people from many nations and no two people look the same. I am learning to look deeper. There must be a little more to it than this.

This blog will be about my experiences, not only in looking into my Mi'kmaq heritage, but into many Native American cultures. It will not be an exhaustive study, but merely my observations on the things I learn. I have already learned that people cannot be lumped into one simple category under the names of Native American or Indian as we so often do.  This is a continent that contains many nations, each with vastly different beliefs and traditions. If anything, I have been given the gift to learn another perspective. So...... here goes. I will seek first to understand.